Everyone needs a day off sometime, right? Well, I took my first real-ish day off, since becoming a fellow in July, this Wednesday. I talked to Keturah on Tuesday, telling her that I needed a day off to gain a fresh perspective. I said I could go next week sometime, but she said to take the following day off because I shouldn’t wait that long to gain a new perspective.
Boy, was she right… I didn’t realise just how much I needed a break. I needed a break from the work, from NFS, from HMB… from everything, really. I needed a chance to shut off my brain, even for just a few short hours. I wouldn’t say I am burned out. I will never be burned out of this fight. But, I definitely needed a perspective shift, and a chance to re-center.
I made the trek up to San Francisco, with just my phone, purse, my Bible, and music. Just to do something, anything, at a leisurely pace was helpful to destress. I ate Korean food (YAY!), had great conversations with strangers, and bought a homeless guy named Fred a coffee and chatted awhile. Just gave him a friend, showed him that someone cared, and that he was respected for a bit, because everyone deserves a friend, to be respected, and cared about. He was a pretty great 69 yr old Vietnam veteran. He had a pretty amazing story.
Also, I went to an art store and bought some supplies. Art is soothing to my soul, and something I turn to often. Since coming here, and even a bit before, I haven’t been able to do any linocut, ceramics, painting, etc. With the stress of being a fellow, being isolated in Half Moon Bay (I mean, really… I came from the 2nd largest city in the world to the tiny town of Half Moon Bay… quite the adjustment…), and some personal stress, I have felt that I would either implode or explode, and both senarios wouldn’t be pretty… so I bought some tools to do a few linocuts, some scratchboard, and a sketchbook. It’s been therapeutic to get back into my art.
I’m still not “there”. Not where I wish I could be. This one day of respite wasn’t “the answer”, but it definitely helped a lot. I felt as though I could go another day, and I’m so very thankful for the little bit of time I got to recharge. It was a blessing.